BITCH PROPHECIES

To be a BITCH or not to be a BITCH is not even a question.

One must be a BITCH to survive and let me tell you why.

You ARE different from others so you will get through life “differently than others”

a) you live outside the box
b) you aren’t Martha Stewart
c) you don’t have a 5 carrot diamond on your finger
d) you drink too much or not enough
e) you’re a workaholic an alcoholic a fuckaholic an intertaholic
f) you drive fast
g) your poor
h) your fat
i) your rich
j) your dumb
k) your part of the menses society
l) you sew
m) you barf
n) you snort
o) you sleep
p) you take anti-depressants
q) you married young
r) you’re cheating
s) your gay
t) your too tall
u) your ugly
v) you are skinny
w) you’re athletic
x) you hide from everything and everyone
y) you're in denial
z) you hate your job

If you have something others want you will be envied

a) you have a husband
b) money
c) health
d) status
e) education
f) savings
g) guts
h) stability
i) insurance
j) hair
k) boobs
l) retirement
m) high metabolism
n) babies
o) grown ups
p) mental health
q) ability to achieve
r) good reputation
s) your not shy
t) your tall
u) your beautiful
v) your husband is hot
w) your sex life is good
x) diamonds
y) doctorates
z) nice car

NOW… if you are not a BITCH then these things can really put a damper on your day and your psyche. We can’t have that…not now or ever.

You must be a BITCH. You must put your BITCH armor on and wear it proud. Be strong.

With BITCH Armor You Can:

a) tell people what you really think without apology
b) have an opinion
c) have a choice
d) make choices without the direction or influence of another human being
e) succeed in difficult circumstances
f) know what you want
g) survive in a callous world
h) look people in the eye
i) have confidence
j) love yourself
k) choose who you surround yourself with
l) fight for what you believe in
m) stand tall even when people try to cut you off at the knees
n) trust your instincts
o) know your capabilities
p) honor yourself
q) be brave
r) have courage
s) know what is important
t) dream
u) grow
v) be wild
w) wicked
x) creative
y) have fun
z) know yourself

Bitch Armor to Include But Not Limited To:

a) lipstick
b) comfortable underwear
c) anything fleece
d) comfortable shoes
e) perfume
f) diamonds or rocks- who cares
g) a car that drives so you can go anywhere you want
h) strength from experience
i) a mouth that isn’t afraid
j) eyes open
k) awareness
l) fuzzy socks
m) an opinion
n) dogs (the more the better)
o) creativity – no matter what it looks like
p) wildness
q) curiosity
r) a sense of humor
s) drive
t) compassion
u) freedom
v) wisdom
w) a good bra
x) lots of BITCHS around you
y) love inside of you
z) peace


Now- with your BITCH armor on – in this big, bad world YOU CAN DO, BE, AND ACCOMPLISH all of the above. Why BITCH armor?

Because people will try to tear you down, tear you up and tell you that you are a BITCH if you are any or all of these things. People will try to degrade you, abuse you, leave you, hurt you, fuck you and alienate you because you are a STRONG woman with BITCH HONOR.

So, put your armor on and kick ass. Make no apology for being a BITCH.

It is beautiful, remember.